Well, I pondered on this for so long, because I wanted to make sure I was not guilty of going through the motions too.
Everything made since this morning after my morning prayer with the Father. I have been walking through an extremely difficult trial. I have to stay very, very close to Yahweh to get keep it together. Connection with him is very important to me being able to cope. If anyone has been through something hard, you know what I am talking about. I can't go into all of it right now, but the parts I want to share is the fact that my daughter is battling depression on a major scale. I have to be with her at all times because of it. The isolation has been difficult, and I find myself using coping mechanisms to help me get through it all. I have developed so many things to help me walk through trying situations because I have been through them before. The point I want to get to is that my daughter had a rough time last night, and she was very depressed. She came into my room and asked to put her mattress beside my bed because she feels better beside me. She lay down beside my bed and we prayed for her to be able to sleep and feel better, then I got back up to pray. I kept thinking of a video I had watched earlier of a sick little girl who was passing away. Her parents had recorded it because they didn't want to miss the last moments of this child's life. It was so hard to watch because my grandbaby is only a year or so younger than this little girl. I don't even know why I continued to watch this video. Sometimes, if it is an emotional recording, I will just turn it off because I don't want to get upset, but something made me keep watching. This morning, this video was still in my head. After my prayer, I could almost see me, like that little girl. I would start to lose consciousness and die and then just like this little girl she would say a prayer and it would bring her back to life. Could my daughter's situation and my trial, and everything I have faced, could it be a mechanism to jolt me back to life. This morning that passage in Revelation made a lot more sense to me. My situation has deadened me. I haven't meant it to, but I think it has. Maybe in some ways, I have done it to myself as protection from everything. The world and even people in the church can be awful. I started my walk with so much zeal, so much excitement. Wanting to share my faith, and what happened to me. Most of the great things that I experienced weren't even in the church house, but before I actually found a church to belong to. That is when the Father was my teacher. My daughter's situation has pulled me away from the church because I won't leave her. She not only suffers from depression but from severe migraines. I tried to get her to go to church for a while but the loud music was too hard for her to take. While I have been here with her, the Father has become my teacher again and he has shown me that our churches are not what he wants them to be.
They are full of people who don't really care about souls but they care about lining there pockets with money from the saints. He will bring judgment on the whole mess very soon. If you are a pastor I would suggest you search your heart about what your true motive is for being a pastor and make sure that what you are teaching is the truth. I have had to repent over a lot of stuff that was taught to me because I didn't use to question anything at first. I began to share these teachings with other people too. Now I have been shown that some of it, belongs in the garbage can. Yah started to show me things that were wrong, and so I began to question a lot of stuff. People don't like that, and they get mad and they hurt you and they hurt your family trying to protect themselves. I honestly believed some of the mess and couldn't see differently until Yahuah began to open my eyes. I will write more on what I have been shown, and why you should pray about anywhere you go to church. There is stuff being taught that shouldn't, and there is stuff that should be taught, that isn't being mentioned because they have an agenda. When our Father says come out of her my people and be not partakers of her sins, he is talking about these false churches that are leading people down the wrong path. I thought it was just the Catholic doctrine that I used to be a part of, but no, it is not just the Catholic Church at all. Most churches in the United States are veiled in Sun worship. If you don't believe me, then pray about it and do your research on why we worship on Sunday, and why we aren't taught to keep the sabbath holy anymore in our churches. Study how Constantine and the Catholic Church began to force people to keep Sunday as there sabbath and not Saturday. It is not just the Catholic Church at all but it has filtered down to almost every church. Some are worse than others. I will post more about this later, but I want to say that if you are going through a fiery trial right now, please know that sometimes our trials are there for a reason. I feel like when things get hard I come back to life. I get closer to Yah and I begin to fight. That is my personality. Just like that precious little one who was a fighter. She fought till she couldn't anymore. Fight the good fight of faith like Yahuah says, and keep on until the end. Connect with our Father and make him you're all. He will show you what you need to know, he will show you the path to take. Whatever you are going through, don't lose your zeal, your fire, your enthusiasm, your passion. I asked our Father to baptize me with pure passion again. Somehow, I have lost it in this game of life. Tell the devil to suck it. We are not going to give up but we are putting him under our feet. If you need to be saved then see that post on Salvation. Connect with him first and let him be your guide. Pray about all things and he will send the right people your way. Here is some info on Salvation to check out. Salvation post, Make your salvation sure. ! Blessing.
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